What a younger woman wants: Askmen

AskMen.com : Dating younger women - AskMen


She is primarily interested in getting a husband-to-be on the hook. It takes her a year of going steady to feel she has got him under control.

What She Looks For
Most women will admit that they want a strong man who can stand his own ground and be confident. Back in the day, this meant an egg fertilizer with blessed genetics who could hunt to feed his family while protecting them from predators.

Of course, today we live in a more civilized society. Women no longer need a mate, hunter or protector (they now have sperm clinics, supermarkets and police officers to do that). But because of her upbringing, a woman still expects a man to provide for his family. She now expects her man to be mature and provide financial stability along with long-term security.

Fertilizing her eggs is no longer enough to satisfy a woman. The Romantic Era and current television soap operas have inspired women to seek out men who have the sexual experience to enlighten the consummate. Women want men who have more than just oral sex on their minds; they want men who know every single sensual spot on (and in) their bodies, and who take the time to explore them thoroughly.

All these traits can be found in most men that are eighteen or over. But more often than not, women will associate older men with the capability of providing all the aforementioned traits.

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/crazy-bitch-quiz/
Is She a Crazy Bitch? A Quiz
14 Votes

This isn’t a rhetorical question. If you’ve asked yourself more than once, “Is my girlfriend/wife/fiancee a crazy bitch?” as a clinical psychologist, I’m here to tell you the answer is, “Yes. Diagnostically speaking, she may very well be a crazy bitch.“

A ‘crazy bitch’ insidiously makes you feel like the unstable, angry person. You soon doubt your interpretation of events and experiences. In lots of cases, this type of woman may have a personality disorder, such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Antisocial Personality Disorder or some combination of the Cluster B disorders. In other cases, they may not qualify for diagnoses, but it doesn’t really matter. Abusers are highly resistant to change regardless of whether they have a personality disorder or not.

Here’s a quiz to find out if your wife, girlfriend or ex is an abuser:

Does she fly into rages without warning over relatively trivial matters like a web page loading too slowly? check
Are you always the scapegoat/bad guy whenever she’s frustrated, disappointed or just plain bored? not ALWAYS
Do her friends (that is, if she has any) describe her as a “drama queen?” friends?
Does she describe herself as a drama queen? If so, congrats. You found one with a modicum of self-awareness. she describes herself as calm and mellow, but...
Is her lipstick a little too red? Is it applied like theater makeup and a tad crooked? make-up is poisonous, and so is sunscreen
Did sex begin with an earth shattering bang and fizzle into infrequent, transactional and conditional sex? yes
Is she a black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinker? thinker?
Do you lie to your family, friends and colleagues about what goes on at home? I used to, now I try not to talk about my home life at all.
Do you find yourself making excuses to your family, friends and colleagues for her inexcusable behavior? totally
Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around her? no, she explains how I should think, and I do so
Does she hate your friends and family and become angry or tearful when you spend time with them? yes, tearful mostly, but angry also
Is she pathologically jealous? yes
Does she project her feelings onto you? For example, she’s yelling and raging and then accuses you of being angry. yes
Does focus solely on her emotional experience while exhibiting little or no empathy for yours? yes
Have you distanced yourself from friends and family because of your relationship? yes totally
Does she place you on a pedestal one day only to tear you down the next day? “I’ve never known anyone like you before. You’re so wonderful!” Next day: “You’re the devil! You’re the most selfish bastard I’ve ever met! You don’t love me!” yes
Did she change her identity after she landed you? For example, when you first met her she was a sexy, adventurous, sweet ballbuster; now, she’s afraid of her own shadow, has no outside interests and goes ballistic if she has to do anything without you. Completely
Does she put you into “no win” situations in which nothing you do is good enough and you’re guaranteed to fail? absolutely
Does she exhibit stalker behaviors? This usually occurs during the courtship phase or when she senses you’re about to make a break for it. For instance: Calling and hanging up? Calling over and over and over until you answer the phone? Does she wait outside your home, uninvited, until you arrive? Does she show up at places she know you’ll be, also uninvited? Has she tried to get close to your friends in inappropriate ways? yes
If you answered “yes” to more than two of these questions, you may be involved with a female abuser. You’re not alone. They’re everywhere. Uh Oh

Most of the men who ended up in my therapy office were there because they were experiencing stress, depression or anxiety as a result from being in a relationship with an emotionally abusive woman. Ironically, most of the time they were shamed and pathologized into seeking counseling by these women. Never mind that most of the symptoms my male patients experienced were a direct result of being in a relationship with an abuser who most likely had one of the abusive personality disorders

If you think you may be involved with an abusive woman, good luck. They’re typically treatment resistant and they never really get any better. If you choose to stay in the relationship, I strongly recommend you educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of abuse, personality disorders and learn some basic behavioral management skills.

By: Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

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