My Wife Is Bisexual : I Married a Bi-sexual Story & Experience

My Wife Is Bisexual : I Married a Bi-sexual Story & Experience
(NO falling in love, either way, and that's final.)Post
for I Married a Bi-sexualNext Story for I Married a Bi-sexual

By: IndyJoe
Age: 41-45, Man
Recent Stories by Author:
Two Perspectives.....
I Live In a Sexless Marriage
I Have....
I Have Told Someone I'm A Nudist
What's Your Story?
Share It Here

My Wife Is Bisexual
Posted August 7th, 2008 at 11:03AM

I am a straight man who is married to a bisexual woman. I have known since before we married and I chose to accept her as she is. I love her and I understand that she cant help being attracted to females as well as males. I support her if she wants to be with a woman...but we had to set some ground rules. 1) her relationship with a chosen woman cannot progress beyond being friends with some sexual pleasure sharing (no falling in love either way). 2) She will not be with another male...no 3-somes, 4-somes, or even one-on-one (of course group sex with FEMALES is different if she chooses). 3) If it starts to interfere with our sex life, relationship, or marriage in any way then she will end it. I will not be with another woman because I have no real desire to be with anyone but my wife. Some have said "thats not fair to you"....well, I dont think it feels unfair at all. As long as I am able to be with her and my needs are met, then Im happy. She has told me that if she is with a woman and that woman is consenting, that I am welcome to watch. I always give them privacy and I dont know that I would (it would depend on my mood at the time). Any way, Her bisexuality doesnt bother me at all. Our sex life isnt the greatest right now, but it has nothing to do with this at all. I love my bisexual wife and I wouldnt trade her for anything. I would never try to change her, Id never hurt her, Id never take advantage of the "opportunities" that come with her....I am her husband, and I am totally faithful to her.

2
FavoriteFlagSubscribe

Sort By
34 Comments (add your own)
Posted by IndyJoe on Nov 10th, 2008 at 10:08PM
Thank You. I am not bisexual myself. She is very faithful in sticking to the rules, and though she doesnt tell me all of the details, she tells me when she is or wants to be with a woman. Our marriage is great, but its far from a dream marriage. Thanks for reading my story and sharing your comment.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by Katika on Nov 11th, 2008 at 6:48PM
Joe
I am bi-sexual and hubby is very supportive to my needs as well. In fact when I'm with another woman I encourage my husband to participate as I enjoy the best of both worlds.

try it...you all might enjoy

Reply | like3dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Nov 11th, 2008 at 10:50PM
I appreciate that Katika, But as tempting as it might be neither me or my wife wants a three-some. I might watch if the mood strikes me, but that would be the extent of it. She just wouldnt be able to handle seeing me being sexual with another woman (and I couldnt handle her being with another man)...I know that sounds strange to some people but its complicated to explain.

Reply | like2dislike | Flag
Posted by Katika on Nov 12th, 2008 at 3:52PM
I kinda understand Joe...
I once got a little upset watching my husband dirty dance with a old girlfriend...but have no problem watching him **** a playmate.
Sex between us is loving, passionate and caring.
What we do with our playmates I like to describe as " recreational sex"...just in it for the pleasure of the moment with no strings attached.
We are each others best lover...the rest is icing on the cake
You really have to experiment with different experiences and openly discuss your feelings about each experience and not let your mind with all the emotional thoughts cloud your judgements.
I had so many fears and concerns about swinging with others before we tried it...but found that 99% of those insecure thoughts were all just in my head.

Reply | like2dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Nov 12th, 2008 at 4:43PM
Believe me....thoughts of just having a friend to have sex with has crossed my mind (I guess it comes from not getting it for long periods of time). I have just never been one to screw around, its not always a moral thing its just me. My wife has no interest in sex at all, she hasnt even been with a woman in a long time.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by quagwop on Jan 27th, 2009 at 12:00PM
you rock! Before we were married, my wife and I both thought she was bisexual, but after we got married she seems to have lost interest for now, but I came into the relationship with the same attitude you have and would have been the same way... Also, if you do ever join in, you don't have to physically interact with the other woman... I never would if my wife agreed to a *********... make sure everyone agrees on some ground rules, and then I'd just see to it that my wife got double the pleasure while we both pleased her, and she alone would please the other woman, and I'd be pleased by my wife and just watching her enjoying a girl

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Jan 27th, 2009 at 4:01PM
Some of the women my wife has flirted with wanted to either have my wife join her and her husband, or if I would be joining with my wife and her. The answer in both cases was always no. My wife and I have discussed the scenerio of a ********* and it was agreed that IF it happened, I would be with my wife and only my wife. That never really set well with the other women, so we never engaged in a ********* (or a foursome with the other guy involved too). I couldnt enjoy a ********* anyway, because I couldnt just let loose and have fun....it would be too tempting with another naked woman right there not to cross a line. Ive had alot of people tell me that it isnt fair, that Im getting the short end of the stick and cheated out of fun. Well....from a purely sexual standpoint this could be true. However, I love my wife and she is the woman I want to be with, so I dont feel "short changed" at all. Yes I have needs and desires, and when my wife cannot take care of those I feel like I could use a "**** buddy"....but I just ignore it and wait until my wife is available.

Reply | like4dislike | Flag
Posted by An EP User on Jan 27th, 2009 at 4:05PM
good for you .

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by Tekkamaki on Jan 27th, 2009 at 4:42PM
You have a great attitude for accepting your wife's differences. I've said that I am bisexual but monogamous. I am only interested in one person at a time. Personal preference though. But my husband does give me a slight playful nudge and wink when he sees me checking out a pretty lady. Just looking! LOL!

I think it's pretty cool that you've discovered the complex emotions and drive in your wife. It sounds like you two have really taken the time to understand each other. I hope the other parts get well rounded out with time as well. Take care, man! : )

Reply | like2dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Jan 27th, 2009 at 10:53PM
Thanks Tekkamaki......its not always easy to be patient and understanding. I am only a flesh and blood man. But I do what must be done to love and respect my wife for who she is. I get weak, I get frustrated, and I get tempted like anyone else....my biggest fear is not being able to resist should an opportunity ever arise. I just try to avoid any situation where temptation could lurk ( its not that hard to do because women arent easily "tempted" by me).

Reply | like2dislike | Flag
Posted by cs996 on Feb 8th, 2009 at 8:52AM
My wife and I had bisexual relationships before we started dating. After things between us got serious we talked about our sexuality. She said that she couldn't deal with me being with anyone else. So we agreed that there was to be no outside relationships including same sex ones.
Fast forward seven years and she has started to voice a casual interest to have a sexual encounter with woman. I'm not apposed to my wife having sex with another woman. I actually find the thought of it a huge turn on. I am however worried about one thing leading to another. Also I'm worried that our sex life may suffer. I would like any advice from men or women on how to continue with discussions between my wife and me.
Joe I really like the boundaries you and your wife have I to don't have an interest in other sex partners. I would like to watch my wife enjoying herself.
Good to know there might be a solution other then depriving my wife of who she is.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Feb 8th, 2009 at 1:30PM
cs996.....My wife offered to turn her back on her bisexual side when we first got together, but I wouldnt permit that. I knew that she may be able to do it for awhile, but in the long run she wouldnt be happy and that she would feel as if a part of herself is missing. I had never dealt with this situation before and I had been through a bad marriage with a cheating wife so it wasnt any easy choice to make. However I knew she was the one for me and I wanted to accept her and love her just as she is. Our sex life isnt the greatest (it isnt even what I would like it to be), but Its a choice I made and I have a commitment to honor. Its also not just her bisexuality that affects our intimacy, there are other factors too which dampen her sex drive. Basically, we just talk about how we feel and we adjust and/or set boundaries to comply. I dont push the issue and I dont pressure her. This is one of those situations where my needs and desires just have to take a back seat. She knows how I feel, and she feels bad that she is not meeting my needs.....I just reassure her that I love her and that she shouldnt worry because I'll be okay. When my desire gets hefty, when frustration begins to set in, I just try to push it aside and ignore it as best as I can until Im over it. As Ive said....its not always easy, its often frustrating, and I know I could possibly be weak to temptation.....but we try to keep open communication and I try to honor the love and commitment I have toward my wife. She is a wonderful woman, she is my best friend, and we have a terrific relationship, so its alot easier to get through the things that I am missing out on. My advice is to focus on what is good in and about your relationship.....it wont change that you are still having needs which arent being met, it wont always take away the loneliness and frustrations, and it wont quench your sexual urges and desires.....It will help you cope and deal with it, and it will help you hold your relationship together.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by scbjc5 on May 22nd, 2009 at 7:39PM
I know i am late with this but i thank you for this because you are the way i am striving to be. Joe you speak the words and feelings in my heart for my wife but i had hang ups and worry. She talks to me and gives me reinsurance that she got me but i never been with a women like her as far as bi and just a in tune honest person. I guess you would say i was from the wrong side of the tracks.

I await to talk with you and any one who knows clearly what they want

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by bart2 on May 24th, 2009 at 5:31AM
I have a bi wife~~ she doesn't like to suck **** but she'll suck ****,,,and it goes on,,yea i'd wish she was not bi !!!!,,it sucks!! no pun intented!!!

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on May 24th, 2009 at 6:41AM
My wife is not that much into oral sex with me either. She will do it on occasion, but she doesnt do it very long (a minute or two) and I sometimes wish she would do it longer or even bring me to ****** with it. She has only done that a couple of times since we have been together. However She likes getting it and I like giving it, so its not a total loss. It may have nothing to do with your wife's bisexuality....she might not like it even if she were straight. Unfortunately some of us guys get the short end of the stick in this department.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by retiredfather on May 24th, 2009 at 8:04PM
For better, fot worse,
For richer, for poorer
In sickness and in health,
Til death do you part.

A true relationship flourishes when partners understand and accept the other partners traits.

God be with you.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by docrock05 on Jul 24th, 2009 at 1:34AM
I can't believe what I’m reading...my wife and I met in college, she was already married and had an open relationship with her ex-husband, who was also bi. I had a ********* with her and a girlfriend of hers. I did not enjoy the experience since her girlfriend was a strict lesbian who didn't want anything to do with me. I told her about my bad experience and she told me that she had purposely chosen her friend because she didn't want me to be with other women. This didn't make me happy...now we're married and I still want to have a ********* but I will never include her again. I'm sure she feels the same way. Now she acts like she was never bisexual and that topic is a sore one. I know she hasn't changed because she watches **** and its always lesbian ****. I used to think I could have fun exploring my sexual fantasies with her but now there's only jealousy.
When I read Indy's response I notice he always comments that he is not happy with his sex life and admits to being "tempted". I don't think it’s wise to bottle up your emotions because eventually it will ruin your relationship. trust me I know...

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Jul 24th, 2009 at 11:03PM
Your comment is noted. My wife has no interest in sex at all....with me or with women. There are reasons involved that have nothing to do with her being bisexual. I am adjusting to living in a sexless marriage. Its not always easy, but we have alot of open communication and we have alot of intimacy and affection. I am not bottling anything up at all.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by redheadsrule on Jul 26th, 2009 at 10:02AM
IJ , as i have told you many times you are a great guy ! Would you do me a huge favor? Tell that wife of yours i and many others really miss her , maybe she could come on and say hey once in a while. P.S. Give her a big hug too!

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by lilyluzkay on Sep 15th, 2009 at 2:40AM
This thread gives me hope. I am bi and my husband just told me he would be fine with me having girlfriends. My reaction is a hesitant mix of excitement and fear. He wants no involvement with other women and I have the same "but it's not fair" concerns. I love my husband very much and would hate to do anything that might damage the wonderful relationship we already have. We would have to talk more to work out all the "ground rules" for something like this to work but it is really a comfort to know that there are more couples out there in the same situation. Thank you!

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by 7thmaster on Jun 8th, 2010 at 10:27AM
My wife has been curious about it but never acted on the desire. She just felt guilty instead and didn't try to make friends. Our relationship has been reborn as she has realized that it isn't something to feel guilt over. I encouraged her to seek out friends too, and felt like I needed to let her know it was OK to be physical with someone. After a lot more discussion, our feeling right now is that sex is an integral part of the emotional bond we share, so any physical relations we have must involve both of us. It isn't as much as fairness but of the bonding you gain from contact and reciprocity. Conversely, withdrawal occurs when you are not doing pleasurable things together.

We also know who we are as people... we grow attached easily and there is only so much capacity we have to communicate before the exhilaration turns to exhaustion. I don't think I'd mind her getting emotionally attached to a woman as long as I could be a part of that connection too (and not just from a sexual perspective). May not be realistic or easy, but that's sort of where our heads are at.

One thing that has helped me enormously is that we are aggressively taking time to be with ourselves, and engage in a more active lifestyle as a couple. We are helping each other eat better and exercise regularly, and we are seeing constant improvement. We have deep talks about our relationship but I've also reminded her at random that she is a worthwhile, wonderful person in and of herself. But the thing that really made the change was my desktop background, which was a shot of her sitting on a couch a few days after we married. She realized a lot of what she thought of herself back then was just wrong, that she was just as beautiful and sexy as I said, but we've both got some work to do now after 25 years!

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by redscorpio on Jul 3rd, 2010 at 4:27PM
I really like what every one here has to say on the subject. It has helped me out tremendously i am anxious on this day because my wife has never been with a women. She went to Maine with her friend whom she came out to. Don't know if she plans on hooking up with her or somebody else. kind of hope she does so we can take the next step in are relationship. In a way i think it is unfair to me that she gets to have sex with other people besides me but if it is something she wants to pursue we have decided that she will find a girlfriend that does not mind my involvement

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Jul 8th, 2010 at 11:23PM
Thats how I saw it....she is who she is, she cant help being bi, and It is not my place to require "change" from her.

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by Trebizond on Aug 8th, 2010 at 4:35PM
I am a bi sexual female. I solved this problem bi training my het BF into bi experience and desire.

Reply | like2dislike | Flag
Posted by j4ck4l on Aug 11th, 2010 at 1:29AM
My bi-curious wife of 13 years wants to have a relationship with my 20 year old lesbian half sister that she fell in love with. We have two children and I strongly objected to such an arrangement. This is tearing our marriage apart and I am thinking of divorce. She tells me she does not just want sex, which is worse for me, as she says she is looking for a loving relationship with my sister or other women. I should be happy I guess that she does not want other men but I still feel devastated over the situation. To make matters worse she does not want me involved in any way with her partners. I told her that I need time to adjust and see if I can cope with my wife dating other women but that her dating my sister is completely out of the question. I don’t know what to do, I love her very much, and hope we can work this out. She tells me she wants no other man but this does not make me feel better.

Your help appreciated!

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by IndyJoe on Aug 11th, 2010 at 1:46PM
I am not permitted to be with other women myself, and she doesnt wish to be with another man. I am only allowed to join in if it is my wife that I have sex with and not the other woman. I will admit that its been an adjustment, and not always an easy one, but we set the ground rules and we trust each other to stick by them. Right now though, my wife has no sexual desire whatsoever and so she is not sexual with me or anyone else. I have been told that it isnt fair to me....the rules or the lack of sex.....but I love my wife and I know she loves me. We got married for alot more reasons than sex, and that has been the only real problem for us (the fact that we arent sexually intimate together).

Reply | like1dislike | Flag
Posted by An EP User on Aug 11th, 2010 at 2:17PM
I don't know all the details between you and your wife but my view is more freedom You offer her more satisfying your sexual experience will be with her. Most women have streak of bisexuality in them, some choose to express it in act some inhibit their desires. I agree with you in her having multiple female sexual partners.. that is a not something a woman should engage in. A bit of a lust for another female is natural.