best bad roommate stories

Bad Roommate: Who has the best bad roommate story?
Anonymous said...
My roommate got mad at me once for taking his orange juice so he shit on my bed after I went to class.
I couldnt believe it. When I got back from class my whole room smelled like shit and I didnt know why
I looked and there was a huge stinking log laying on my bed

(That's bad)

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When I woke up, i found that the shade in the living room was ripped in half. I don't even know how you could do something like that. When I asked my so called friend about it, he denied doing it. I even sent photo graphic evidence to him, and it made him deny it even more.

Now I just have a ripped shade and a fear of house guests.

(I have that, too. I had one call me the most "inconsiderate person in the world" because I turned on a light and accidentally woke her up, after she took enough sleeping pills to kill a horse. She dumped a cup of coffee in my foyer, left all of my doors wide opened, and drove home for two hours. Now she acts like it never happened and I am not going to be the one to tell her, or invite her back.)

February 24, 2008 8:27 AM
Anonymous said...
http://pumpkinsrandom.blogspot.com/2008/02/roommates-necessary-evil.html

It's going to be soooo different this time!! That's what I told myself when I moved into my second apartment with my second roommate Caysee. There's no way this could turn out to be a disastrous hellish experience like it did with the last stupid skank I lived with, Caty. Much to my dismay I am living in an eerily upsetting case of deja vu...and it's not pleasant.

Many of you have probably had roommates either in a dorm (been there done that too unfortunately), or an apartment (in the name of saving cash) and have experienced the delight of having a roommate. What I've gathered from my own experience, coupled with that of my friends, is that having a roommate never turns out quite how you expect it to.

(Never, ever ever ever. Don't do it. Not with family, either, or lovers, especially, and if you get married maintain your separate lives, as well. )

In fact, take your expectations, put them in the trash, douse them in piss, and then have your dog take a shit on them...and that, my friend, is what you will really end up with in terms of having a roommate.

(If your roommate has a dog, chances are that dog has already shit all over your expectations and everything else in your life.)

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Then he yells at me because I think he's a man slut. Well if you wouldn't tell such bullshit stories then I wouldn't think that. This is a direct quote from him "I know you think I am a pig, but just because I have had sex in the dirt with a mom and a daughter at different times doesn't make me a pig." I didn't know what to say.
The most recent was when I was studying for a final the next morning, and he comes into the garage with friends and sets up the beer pong table. I ask him to go somewhere else because I need to study. He calls me a prick and a douchebag telling me I never let him do anything. He is just the most inconsiderate person I have ever met.

(Meet me. That's my Title.)

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May 3, 2008 9:10 PM
Anonymous said...
My roommate and i were friends for about a year before we moved in together. He seemed like a cool guy, respectable, clean, hard working. Holy shit was i wrong. There is nothing clean about him. When he uses a dish, he smears it with syrup and then just leaves his plate on the couch hidden next to his art magazines, so if you dont see it when you sit down, the couch cushion will move and syrup will be all over the place. He eats my food and claims he doesn't.
He shaves his ball hair over the toilet and just leaves it there until i bitch him out for weeks after.


(That's so gross! Mine shaves SOMETHING in the shower and I can't figure out what, because he has an electric razor. I can't figure out how, never-mind what, but our tub is permanently clogged and I know it's because of him because once he didn't empty the strainer and it was like there was an entire cat stuck in it. And it's his turn to Draino it, just in case he should read this-we've given up communication. He stopped speaking to me because he says it is not possible to win an argument with me due to the fact that I am always right. Sorry. He also thinks he's "more perfect" than me, which is incredibly stupid to say.)


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Anonymous said...
i'm going to go straight to it...

i lived with three other people freshmen year in a giant room. Each of us had a corner, but there still was very little privacy. There are countless stories that I could tell, but the one tops them all by far. Take in account this is the worst, but there were probably over 100 incidents throughout the year.

So...I had gone to bed around 12 because I had a track meet the next morning, I was hoping by leaving on my roommates desk light that they would be quiet and not wake me up. Instead, 1230 rolls around and they all come back to the room. The one passes out in her bed, the other proceeds to call and SCREAM at her boyfriend in the room--kindly moving outside next to my window for the next 45 minutes to continue, and the third begins making out with a boy in the screaming roommate's bed.

I was so excited to see the shit hit the fan when my screaming roommate (we will call her B) would find the slut roommate (call her C) in her bed.

To my surprise, B showed up and got into bed with C and boy. They proceeded to have a three some for the next 4 hours. I honestly wish I was making this up. I layed petrified in my bed, my very shy boyfriend next to me. I didn't know what to do! I was awake the entire time because B was moaning louder than her screams to her boyfriend (who by the way was not present...this was a different boy)

I wish I could tell everyone on campus how sluttly they were, but they would know it was me and my school is way small.

To make things better C tried to blame the whole thing on B. B didn't even know she at one point ate C out...and still doesn't to this day.

This post is so understated but it makes me want to vom every time i think about it.

(maybe a winner, but not that weird in college.)

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So if this isn't bad enough, he also starts stealing my cigarettes on a daily basis. I continuously confronted him on his thievery and it didn't seem to matter. Talking to this tool was like talking to a brick wall.


(*I just like calling somebody a "tool.")
008 2:20 PM
Anonymous said...
I found my roommate through the law school housing bulletin. I facebook stalked her to make sure she was normal... needless to say very deceiving. She speaks in monotone. SHE IS ALWAYS HERE! She is a vegetarian and didn't understand why I wasn't going to cook for her and didn't want to share food. She awkwardly twitches and blinks. She says 'tasty'. She doesn't shower and trust me I sit behind her in class and her hair is nasty. If I am on my computer and mention something on it, she basically sits on top of me looking over my shoulder. She tells me every time she does the dishes like I am supposed to thank her. We have an fn dishwasher! And I do everything else!!!

(This one is in law school. Yikes.)

Oh and I haven't even got to the boyfriend. I told her that my (normal) boyfriend would be over one weekend per month was that okay? "of course, if he is considerate" which I assumed means that her boyfriend will be considerate? wrong! oh and she fails to mention that her boyfriend will be over every weekend all weekend plus 2-3 days during the week. she fails to mention that he is a huge scary beast and doesn't shower.

(That's the worst except the showering. Maybe. At least you can get into your bathroom!)

He has dreadlocks and wears huge black boots and is even more socially awkward than her. i had to literally ask her 3 times not to have him over during the week because they would wake me up at 2 am. Mind you we are in law school!!! and I work at 7am in the library. She looks confused and says don't worry we weren't having sex we were 'wrestling'. When I say I'm not comfortable with her doing that when I'm home since I can hear it (And its fn AWKWARD), she says "I didn't realize I was being loud". She also is a genius and put her bed right up against the wall she shares with my room so that i can hear every creak, not helpful. We had to have the I can hear you/ you're waking me up conversation about 10 times. They also stay in her room til 4 in the afternoon every weekend. I hear them 'wrestling' and giggling and I want to kill myself.

(WHY do people think you're 'just jealous' when you tell them hearing them have sex is disgusting?)

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January 21, 2009 12:26 PM
philos said...
Roommate: Can you believe the idiot UPS guy left your package on top of the bag of used kitty litter out front?

Me: I can't believe you put the bag of used kitty litter right outside the front door. We have a garbage can, the city makes us have one, it's only 3 more steps. You go past the used cat litter and the garbage can every day on the way to your truck. And I'm supposed to be pissed about the UPS guy. Right.


(Pets. Never again.)
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Me: How come the vacuum is outside the front door?

Roommate: OMG, I vacuumed up something the other day, and I dunno, a fly got in there or something and then there were maggots coming out of the vacuum, so I set it outside until the maggots are gone. It was totally gross.

Me: Wow.


(Don't share appliances. Good tip.)

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January 26, 2009 8:49 AM
Anonymous said...
I currently live with my cousin and she is moving out feb 28 I am sooooo happy I keep saying to myself how many days I have left with her it is like a blessing. The reason I say this is because I love my cousin to death but she is such a pig. She never loads or unloads the dish washer, she has never ran the vaccummn the whole year she has been here, she never sweeps, mops dust or anything I have bitched her out about it I don't know how many times but she dosen't care. My favorite thing that she does those is bring home random guys and has intercourse with them.

(Be happy for the variety. It could be one random, desperate person that you hate, instead, but try to hide it because once it's out, it's out, and there's no putting it back in...and you think annoying f-buddy was there a lot before? Wait until they have a common enemy to unite them. You. It will never end til you leave, then they will run out of things to talk about because of the 90 year age difference and blahblahblah please God break them up or make help me get a new apartment, stat.)
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And to try and explain his reasoning beyond the rules of the apt because he is master tenant is insane, we have written and oral contracts when he feels the need. Unless of course he does something wrong then its fine. And the end story: I was in ICU and my dad called him to move my car from street cleaning because he couldn't get up there fast enough to do it himself. So my jackass of a roommate parks it IN FRONT OF A DRIVEWAY and gets it towed ( 450$) THEEEN has the balls to say two weeks later " you guys need to be a little easier on me, Im still recovering from your car being towed"

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Well anyways, there's so much more to her than just using my computer.
Common Things: leaves dishes in the sink and never does them, throws empty gallon milk cartons into the trash can, filling it up but NEVER takes out the trash, that is the kitchen trash. She also never throws out the bathroom trash, which she will leave there while it is overflowing with her bloody tampons until I clean it up. She has been nagging me for the past 2 days to take out the bathroom trash because there are flies in the bathroom. 2 things wrong with this. 1. I have done it every other time. 2. the flies are attracted to the FOOD that she throws away in the bathroom trashcan. Oh wait, I forgot. She did take it out 1/2 times. I say 1/2 because she did not fully take out the bathroom trash. She moved it into a Trader Joe's paper bag and left it by the front door for someone else to take down to the dumpster which is RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR FUCKING APT.

(Don't even go there. Suck it up and take out the trash and do all the dishes. This is one roommate war nobody ever wins because the slob doesn't notice, or care, or will bring up the one time you once left one fork in the sink when you point to the ceiling high mound of plates, pots, and pans from an entire weekend of cooking "It's soaking"-and "sloppy roommate" gets really pissed when you take a picture for proof, not maliciously, either, but because they make you feel delusional but you know you aren't, and the neater person winds up with a huge load of crap to do all at once. I am telling you, it's not worth getting bugs and THEY WON'T NOTICE THE MESS. Bet on it. Do it yourself and avoid busting your eye blood vessels every time you walk in the whatever-room.)(Yes, I got so mad from repressing so hard I busted my eye blood vessels. I looked like "Rocky.")

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We go over on our electric bill almost every month because one of them leaves the lights on and refuses to turn off the bathroom light when he leaves because he said "he's not used to having the light switch outside the door". Adapt motherfucker.

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They wash their clothes and leave them in the washer so I have to wait an hour for them to dry before I can do anything. Our apartment smells like shit, partially because we have no plates, glasses or silverware in our cabinets anymore (they are all sitting around covered in dried food) and they are too lazy to take out the trash...so they just take out the full bag and sit it on the floor and put a new bag in.

(you wonder what people think. This garbage would make a nice sculpture? Maybe i can start a bug zoo?)

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I have bought my fair share of supplies for the kitchen, but one of them has the nerve to ask me to pay her back for what she bought because she ran out of money. And the other hasn't bought supplies once.

(Love that petty crap. My roommate overloads MY washing machine, every time, because he doesn't want to do laundry so he waits until he has to-which is right before his girlfriend comes over- he washes the dog hair out of his sheets and every other thing he owns, all at once. So something finally breaks on the washer, or the dryer, and he goes to Home Depot and gives me the receipt for $12.44, because, as I said, it is my washer and my dryer. So, I paid for it, by check, but I was honestly astonished. I'm surprised I didn't get a bill for the work, too.)


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and the 3rd night i was ther they got into a fight over a trival matter about the trash,
one thing lead to anouther and she stared to push him and slap him and he was just trying to calm her down so she had the hammer shasing after him and got a couple good cracks at his head, then she chased him with a cast iorn skillet and bashed him in the ribs,
she ranted about how she was going to kill him & knocks him out cold,
i was tarrified, who was this girl?
ware was my friend, & that was only the begining, the fighting just got worce and worce, and she'd come to me for advice and i'd tell her what i though, but she'd expeced a compassionet sholder to blubber all over, she was saddly mistaken and became very angrey.


(SO lucky. I wish my roommate and his girlfriend would beat each other to pulps.)
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This would leave me in the very awkward position of standing around alone trying to avoid the the friend of the dude she is hooking up with who thinks he's clearly in. This has gotten progressively worse over the five months I've been here, with her bringing back guys 3 times a week (different guys of course) and having extremely loud and insincere sex with strangers. She once bought five guys back here at one time! I can't believe how easily she can jeoporadise her own safety let alone someone elses.

(How can you tell the sex is insincere?)

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My sister's theory is that this immature brat is pissed off at me because I no longer feel responsible for her entertainment. But she is always here and it makes me crazy that she thinks I need to ask her permission to bring my friends over. Can't wait to move out. My advice people - never live with someone who hasn't been out of home before.

(True!)

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Granted, this kid is living rent free with an enormous allowance (whilst I dilligently pay rent and all my other costs without so much as a cent from my folks) - but even down to earth people can be difficult to live with if they've never cohabited with a non-family member. She treats me like I'm mooching off her and as if I don't pull my weight around the place. The loud sex has finally ended across the hall so I'm going to try and get some sleep before work tommorow......
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July 12, 2009 8:32 AM
Anonymous said...
I am the definition of a neat freak, I am organized, my desk is always clean, and my bed is always made. To couple this OCD obession with neatness I am a germophobe. I hate people touching my stuff, espically my bed. The first few months of college went great, I loved my roommates, one of which is from China. One sunday evening when I got back to school after a great weekend at home I noticed my bed was f'd up. Somebody had slept in it! It wouldn't have been an issue but my roommate was an asshole about it. His friend, who also was Chinese, go this thick black hair all over my bed. It was like he had a haircut directly in my bed. I was espically pissed becasue I have washed my sheets and was happy to get some sleep after the 4.5 hour drive back. So when I told my roommate that this was unaccpetable he proceeded to call be stange from other Americans, and that other people don't mind if their people sleep in their bed. Ok, yeah that true, IF THEY ARE MY FRIEND AND DON'T LEAVE FUCKING HAIR EVERYWHERE!



(It's not freaky to be neat.)

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she makes out and has sex with her boyfriend when she knows i've just lied down to sleep a few minutes earlier..so obviously i'm still awake. sick.

her boyfriend comes most weekends..from thursday afternoon to usually monday afternoon. uses the toilet paper & toiletries that i pay for only me & my roommate to share.

she puts metal in the microwave despite the burning smell it produces & despite me telling her that it can ruin the microwave.

(How do people not know yet what you can't put in the microwave? I had to buy a new one because my roommate does the same thing...and he always puts non-microwaveable stuff in there so it'll heat up the container instead of the food. I've cooked whole dinners while he tried to reheat a bowl of soup in a non-microwaveable bowl. That's not so much annoying as it is baffling.)


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December 11, 2009 2:45 PM
Catherine said...
I rent an appartment with one of my best friends. We have been friends for over 10 years. Yet she invites her boyfriend of 15 years old, we are 18 mind you, and had sex with him in the bedroom we share, while i'm 2 feet away in the living room, with the bed room door OPEN!!! I never thought i would loose a friend but that one, I wish she'll die in hell,


(see! Even if you were friends at one point, the communal sex thing is a big no-no)

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If you run into someone online or god for bid in person who is named Anastasia M. Chxxxxal, working on her weight, accommodating, so called spiritual, uses catch phrases; "my girl or my boy" can take care of that, "I got you" "I got real close to them", knows you or supposedly someone you know etc, smile -- check out the police report number and then make sure you run so you wont be her next victim.


(You've been warned.)

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July 15, 2010 10:38 PM
Ambri said...
I have had some bad roommates, including a drunk that ate cold spaghetti with her fingers and called my kid a loser. But tonight I had a male roommate accuse my daughter's 9 week old, but box trained kitten of pooping by the toilet by mistake. He did so while wondering what to do with the wad of tp he had cleaned up a piece with. (uh, flush it? NOT bring it to living room?)
So, as my daughter is a teen, and this is her kitten, I tell her to clean up, but kind of wonder when the kitten got in there to do that. My daughter cleaned it up, not wanting to have an uncomfortable conversation with an almost 40 year old man (or make me do that). A little while later she then told me in no uncertain terms it was hot, mushy man poop, and in no means a resemblance to the droppings of our two box trained cats.
What kind of person makes a 13 year old girl clean up his, aah, miss? Or any other person? oh, and we just cleaned the bathroom today!


(How the hell do you even miss?)

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August 3, 2010 6:58 AM
Anonymous said...
I tell you what I have the worst roommate that ever was, Me & my husband of 20 yrs. moved in with his best friend, I am expected to be the maid for both of them when they want something to eat who do they ask R the dishes clean me everytime, oh & then thats not even the best part the roomate we have has a son who is a thief and is still allowed in the house! dear god take me now!

(Husbands are sucky roommates, but that's another blog.)
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